Friend: I have a job, a car and I’m doing really well in school, what about you?
Me:

Friend: I have a job, a car and I’m doing really well in school, what about you?
Me:

My face when I’m just out there foraging for berries when a capsule crashes to the ground from the heavens and a cosmonaut comes out and points a gun at me

*kicks the door in of an alt-right’s house and let’s myself in*
haha, what the fuck is this? your “safe space”?
That sounds like a good way to get shot
lol what are you, a gun cuck?
can’t kill a man with your own hands?
this is my FAVORITE post please write “what are you, a gun cuck?” on my tombstone
charli xcx:i just wanna go back to 1999
me who was literally 1 year old in 1999 and have literally no memory of that year:

this is the greatest tweet of 2018
How could you leave out the best reply?

Holy fuck I didn’t ask to be a sobbing mess but here we are I guess