dickipedia

Friend: I have a job, a car and I’m doing really well in school, what about you?

Me:

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My face when I’m just out there foraging for berries when a capsule crashes to the ground from the heavens and a cosmonaut comes out and points a gun at me

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*kicks the door in of an alt-right’s house and let’s myself in*

haha, what the fuck is this? your “safe space”?

That sounds like a good way to get shot

lol what are you, a gun cuck?
can’t kill a man with your own hands?

this is my FAVORITE post please write “what are you, a gun cuck?” on my tombstone

charli xcx:i just wanna go back to 1999

me who was literally 1 year old in 1999 and have literally no memory of that year:

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cheezybrie92:
“ stumbleonhometomycats:
“this is the greatest tweet of 2018
”
How could you leave out the best reply?
”

this is the greatest tweet of 2018

How could you leave out the best reply?

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